love your buddies
I was walking down 24th St, coffee in hand, hellbent on making it to work on time. By the way, who the shit authorized like, four different intersections being torn up with jackhammers so early in the morning? I could hardly hear some dude yelling at me from the other side of the street over the construction. Something lacking originality and inspiration, “hey bitch give me your number.” As I’ve grown increasingly prone to doing, I told him to leave me alone. Ok, I also said “fuck off.” Should I backtrack? Should I explain that I’m wearing a skirt? Is it the amount of bare skin I am showing today which gave his mental process the greenlight to devolve me to a sex organ?
I crossed South Van Ness, walking through wet cement as is apparently the proper protocol for unavoidable construction. The same dude who yelled at me from across the street ran up behind me and threw his arm around me. Great, all of my life I’ve been hoping some testosterone-flooded and control-barren asshole would just sidle up to me and tell me he’d “beat my ass.” Romance is real! He said a few more really vulgar and again, unintelligent & uninspired, quips about my body to assert his dominance. This was the point where I shut up to preserve my own safety.
I said “fuck it,” and turned into McDonalds to get a hash brown because what else do you do when you’re tired and cranky and being verbally assaulted all before you’ve even consumed a single carbohydrate? Happy camper, $1.09 later.
When I crossed the street to hop on BART, he was standing in front f the escalator. Coincidence, or should I give him the honor of prescience? At that point, he seemed to have lost interest in my surly personality and my apparent lack of need to affirm his dominance and my subordination.
“Hey stupid bitch, I wouldn’t fuck you anyway.” Ok, thanks, mutual. “Stupid nerd.” Ok, I do read a lot of tech blogs and have posted a photo of myself wearing Google Glass. “Harry Potter’s sister!!” What? Is that honestly meant to demean me and make me feel like I have suddenly proven myself unworthy of your sexual attention? Harry Potter is a fucking wizard, which I would hardly describe as “uncool”. Another wizard-like phenomena was that I managed to get on BART with my self-esteem entirely intact, despite the harsh words of this supremely attractive street harasser. I am highly concerned about the opinions of strange, stupid men.
Beyond all, it’s 9:30am. Just leave me alone. Just leave me alone at any time of any day if all you can intellectualize is that I’m a vagina or a wizard.
